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Quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"Marriage: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Pray To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Faith Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum"
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Admiration, n. Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemp"
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Barometer, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Absurdity, n. A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Calamities are of two kinds misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Cabbage A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Brain an apparatus with which we think we think."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Acquaintance, n. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"To be positive To be mistaken at the top of one's voice."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"The covers of this book are too far apart."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Painting The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."
By Ambrose Bierce
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"Quotation, n The act of repeating erroneously the words of another."
By Ambrose Bierce
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