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Quotes by Doug Larson

"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
By Doug Larson
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"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."
By Doug Larson
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"What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living."
By Doug Larson
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"If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur."
By Doug Larson
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"The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools."
By Doug Larson
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"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own."
By Doug Larson
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"Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks."
By Doug Larson
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"Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog."
By Doug Larson
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"Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none."
By Doug Larson
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"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
By Doug Larson
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"Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties."
By Doug Larson
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"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties."
By Doug Larson
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"The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball."
By Doug Larson
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"The reason people blame things on the previous generations is that there's only one other choice."
By Doug Larson
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"If the English language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers."
By Doug Larson
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"An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds. A pessimist fears the same may be true."
By Doug Larson
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"Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties."
By Doug Larson
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"There are worse things than getting a call for the wrong number at 4 AM. It could be the right number."
By Doug Larson
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"If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend."
By Doug Larson
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"If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles."
By Doug Larson
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"The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it."
By Doug Larson
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"A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience."
By Doug Larson
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"The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools."
By Doug Larson
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"Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enought to know they were impossible."
By Doug Larson
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"A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten."
By Doug Larson
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