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Quotes by George Carlin
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"I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?"
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By George Carlin
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""I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? "
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By George Carlin
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"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong."
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By George Carlin
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"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I?m just not close enough to get the job done.""
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By George Carlin
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"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
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By George Carlin
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"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."
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By George Carlin
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"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on thei"
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By George Carlin
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"Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, some"
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By George Carlin
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"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight They never mention that part to"
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By George Carlin
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