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Quotes by Jack Handey Deep Thoughts/page3
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"One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the sea"
By Damon Runyon
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"Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them."
By Rita Rudner
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"When I meet a man I ask myself, 'Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with'"
By Rita Rudner
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"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."
By Rita Rudner
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"My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping."
By Rita Rudner
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"I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine."
By Rita Rudner
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"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
By Rita Rudner
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