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Quotes by Robert Benchley

"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens."
By Robert Benchley
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"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
By Robert Benchley
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"Streets full of water; please advise."
By Robert Benchley
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"Tell us your phobias, and we will tell you what you are afraid of."
By Robert Benchley
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"The pencil sharpener is about as far as I have ever got in operating a complicated piece of machinery with any success."
By Robert Benchley
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"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
By Robert Benchley
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"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did."
By Robert Benchley
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"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."
By Robert Benchley
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"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
By Robert Benchley
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"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
By Robert Benchley
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"For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount o"
By Robert Benchley
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"Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment."
By Robert Benchley
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"An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens."
By Robert Benchley
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"Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony."
By Robert Benchley
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"It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too"
By Robert Benchley
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"Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing."
By Robert Benchley
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"As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did."
By Robert Benchley
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"A boy can learn a lot from a dog obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."
By Robert Benchley
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"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."
By Robert Benchley
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"I can't bring myself to say, 'Well, I guess I'll be toddling along.' It isn't that I can't toddle. It's just that I can't guess"
By Robert Benchley
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"Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people."
By Robert Benchley
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"There are two kinds of people in the world, those who believe there are two kinds of people in the world and those who don't."
By Robert Benchley
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