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Quotes by Rodney Dangerfield

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"Life is just a bowl of pits."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"Everyone gets their rough day. No one gets a free ride. Today so far, I had a good day. I got a dial tone."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"Life is just a bowl of pits."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."
By Rodney Dangerfield
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